Peter and Paul discuss the pros and cons of forward planning. Does the hyper-planning of Type A’s really serve them well? They also trace the conflict in romantic relationships to the difference between male-defined measures of success (money, fame, legacy) and female-defined measures of success (harmony, bonding, communication, attention). Are the stereotypical models of “male success” sending men down the wrong path?

  • Luke

    This podcast was very interesting because I can relate with being the male in a relationship that does value listening to his wife, being sensitive to her needs, and delving deep with her in philosophical conversations. I am also a very affectionate man with my wife, lots of touching, kissing, hugging, bonding really, and this is how I’ve always been, which I attribute to the affection and relationship I had with my Mother. It’s always been a characteristic about myself that I’ve thought differentiated me from other men, those that strive to be the 007 type in your example. You know, workaholics, emotionally unavailable, the opinion that being real with another human being, that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness. Of course, these attributes make it difficult to attract initially in the dating world, but are very valuable in an LTR. Not to say I haven’t been culturally influenced by the 007 propaganda, I drive a fast car, lift a lot of weights and dress flashy at times, but I have found that these lifestyle traits attract men, not women so much, which is worth noting. In countries where women are more empowered, there are more examples of role reversals, where women are earning the bread and men are caretaking, which can be very shameful when looking through USA culture glasses, but these relationships are lasting and working. Great to hear this subject brought up. Keep up the awesome work!

    • So interesting, yeah. I especially like your observation that the fast car, weights and flashy dress actually attract other MEN, rather than women. That’s fascinating.

      Thanks for such a thoughtful response.

      -Paul

  • Luke

    Paul and Peter,

    This product that you’re developing, feels like philanthropy in a podcast, and it’s interesting because men inherently due to whatever reasons, cultural or natural, don’t normally discuss these things openly. Your show reminds me a bit of Love-Line with Adam and Dr. Drew, but actually relevant to real life questions, I hope that isn’t taken as an offensive analogy. Only reason I bring it up was to be helpful, as I’m sure you both have a vision for where you are taking this and I don’t know the first thing about anything, but I wonder if a radio show or television would be a potential direction?

    Many thanks, I’m a fan!

  • Steve Vegas

    Hey guys, back again for a second time.
    Great point yous have brought up about Type A and Type B people.

    My thoughts to these topics are a bit conflicting. I mean there are parts
    of your life where you do have to plan, be sensible and stick to a
    structure. But also times where you can let loose and just roll with the
    punches.

    The way I see it, is it sort of depends how you’ve been brought up. By parents, family and I guess you
    adopt their behavior as its what you’re taught by them. But as life
    goes on and you experience more of the world, you come to your own set
    of beliefs. Also the importance of any give goal/event etc.

    At an early age, I was a complete Type A. Always planning, sticking to
    structures and I guess playing it safe. Then as I got older, I relised,
    it was quite boring. Too predictable and not much sense of adrenaline on
    doing things. I guess Type A people have a bit of fear in them that
    things won’t go as they planned.

    Now that as mentioned in Episode 1, my life is stable. I’m able to let go and have
    much spontaneous fun. Not saying the Type A in me has gone, it’s just
    eased off a lot.

    Pete you brought up something that constantly plays on my mind. Talking about partying for a certain
    period of time then saying “Ok that’s enough.”
    I think you need to get it out of your system before you can say “Ok, time to move on.”

    That’s where I struggle a bit. I went through a period in my life where I was
    partying 4 nights a week and having fun. But I think it got cut off too
    early, as I got into a relationship, while my friends kept partying. I
    was in this relationship. Then many years later, when we broke up, I
    wanted to party again. But by now all my friends started to settle down
    and now I can feel that party side of me still wants to be experienced
    even though I’m in my mid 30’s.

    Paul something really interesting you brought up. I think it went.. Male defined
    measures of success vs Female defined measures of success – Very
    interesting and Very true.

    The story you told about the lawyer guy who was really successful in his work. But sucked in relationships…. Married 5 times.

    I think that’s got a lot to do with the inner self, as I’ve come across
    quite a few people like that and their problem was, they can’t stand
    being alone. They have to have someone there, even if it’s the wrong
    person. I think it’s an inner fear of being alone.

    Where other people can be alone and be totally content. They actually enjoy
    their own company and don’t need external things to make them happy.

    P.S..Do not become a wuss when you get into a relationship or you’re done
    for. Keep the power you had at the beginning throughout your whole
    relationship with her. You will be respected more and you will always
    keep that flame burning between the two of you.

    About Japan – Never been there. Don’t know what goes on there.

    About Marriage – Never been married. So don’t expect me to give advice.

    Steve V

Diapers Off! © 2017.

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