What’s the hardest thing about growing up? Making changes BEFORE the pain comes… Paul talks about house-hunting 3 years early so he doesn’t end up getting priced-out of London when the rug-rats arrive. He’s seen it before in New York City: thirty-somethings falling off a cliff when they pair up and get pregnant; the unremitting costs of the city drive folks far afield. Peter identifies the fact that duty has become a part of Paul’s life, allowing him to put plans above immediate impulses. Duty drives excellence in many people, Pete observes. Does the airbnb culture work against commitment? The guys discuss the tradeoffs between footloose living and putting down roots, concluding that a person can’t have his cake and eat it, too. “Own your choices,” Pete advises. Paul mentions Tribal Identity and how it often results from intense shared experience. The guys get sidetracked down the rabbit hole of Scientology. We end on Media of the Week: Paul’s into Nemesis: One Man and the Battle for Rio; Pete just finished watching The Men Who Built America.

  • Onder

    I’m glad you came to this realisation Paul about the real estate thing. If you remember back when I was at your place a little over a year ago discussing my job situation and mentioning how I would like to save, move out and get my own place. You was a bit confused because you suggested renting instead of purchasing my own place and couldn’t understand why buying real estate was a big deal in London.

    Living in a place like London does quickly make you realise that without your own property, you pretty much can’t do the basic things like building a family.

    There’s so much pressure on both ends. It’s clear that we need game in order to find and attract women, but then we also need to work on our future plans. You can’t really do both as it takes effort to hit the streets and meet these girls, and even then most dates are short lived beyond sex. So i’m currently in a dilemma at the moment. Is it really worth the hassle when I know the odds are against me either way?

  • Luke

    Hopefully your place in London doesn’t have an HOA, those are brutal. After 8 years of owning my home now, I’m thinking it’s time to upgrade to something with more property, privacy, and no governance over how I choose to live. Living in Portland, OR, real estate isn’t cheap either, and living close to downtown costs even more. The older I get, the more I realize that money is the key to the privileges like space, privacy, and the freedom to do what you really want.

    That’s the conundrum I think we all struggle with, is how do I make enough money to obtain the privileges and lifestyle that makes ‘me’ or ‘us’ happy without sacrificing all of the prime years of youth and health by working all the time. That work-life balance cliché that so few really get to enjoy. In a global economy, I think it takes two earners to build a life, buy property, afford to raise a family, enjoy vacations, be able to travel, and appreciate nice things. Unless you are the 1% that comes from an affluent background or are able to strike it rich with your talent and hard work.

    As I look back on my education/career choices, I think I didn’t align my passion and interests enough with what I ended up doing, but am grateful that I have the credentials to pay the mortgage. It’s crazy to think that you have to know what you want to do for the rest of your life by the time you are 20! It’s only now, 10 years into my field, that I really think, geez, I think my personality and skills would have been more successful in this other field. However, it’s too late now to go back to school for 3 years and change focus, just to start at the bottom again. Once you commit to a mortgage, wife and family, it’s very difficult to be flexible or follow pursuits that you may be more well suited to. Not saying it’s impossible though and I am always inspired by the people that are willing to go against the ‘rat-race’ and follow their dreams and ambitions.

    Great content, yet again!

  • michael

    Lovin the content xoxo

  • My opinion is that people will commit to what is benefiting their lives. To say that someone cannot commit is generalizing that he does not want to commit to a relationship. He is committed to something else which is freedom and opportunity or other things because that is benefiting his life at that point in time. To say that he does not value commitment is false because he does value commitment but commitment to something else, another direction.

    For me there are times when I want to commit to a relationship and other times when I cannot commit to a relationship. Instead I need to commit to a business partner, a customer, a sacrifice I need to make to further my career.

    All I’m saying is there are different forms of commitment.

    Seriously love your topics!

  • Cad Services

    Thanks for sharing!

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