Do you “Burn Your Boats” as Aethilla did after the Trojan War, or do you hedge, keeping a handy Plan B in your back pocket? Peter and Paul discuss a life strategy of putting all your eggs in one basket. Responding to a listener’s comment, Peter and Paul discuss the “glass wall” men face in modern-day dating. In the olden days, a solid man was appreciated on his merit; today, it takes more to get a girl’s attention. Paul brings up The Big Chill and asks how intimacy can be maintained at a distance. This leads to the men advocating one-on-one discussions, which drive intimacy. We end on The Grant Study, a longitudinal study conceived in the late 1930’s, which tracked 268 Harvard men throughout their lives. A key finding was that relationships were all that mattered in the end, throwing into question our desperate striving for riches and recognition. Paul signs off with his thoughts on London versus New York City, in response to another listener enquiry.

  • Rick

    Great EP once again guys.

    I like the thought of burning boats. I wonder who I’d leave in the boat though 😉

    I also feel you regarding men trying to better themselves dating wise and the resistance from media. Double standards, however I also feel men make it hard for other men to self reflect where as women support other women in this area of life. I sure found that living in middle England.

    Good luck with building this. Saw it on a friends FB wall randomly.

    Are you guys on iTunes?

    • Hi Rick,

      Yeah, we’re on iTunes – just search for the show title. We’re going to install a “subscribe” button soon.

      It’s true that women have a much easier time supporting each other with relationships and feelings. Not something men are taught to discuss. Hopefully, we can open the discussion a bit and make this a safe place for men to get honest.


  • May

    While I may not be your typical audience member, this was a fun podcast to listen to. Thanks!

    The Grant study is a good one – it’s all about relationships, indeed. And no one is immune to “real life”, no matter how smart or (apparently) well educated.

    And I’m in agreement about the NY vs London distinction. Well put!

    Best wishes for every success… it’s great that you’re creating a safe place for people (men in this case) to get honest!


    • Thanks load May.

      Really appreciate your words. We want this podcast to not be gender bias. In fact be great to have women contributing to male discussions and also to hopefully take some new thoughts away. Maybe an insight into men not known before (quite ambitious I know)…

      Tell your female friends about the podcast. Love hear their comments.

      We have Kezia Noble as a guest next week.

  • Eric

    I completely agree about Paul’s point on NYC having a pulse and being dialed up two notches. I think Chicago and NYC are the only two true American cities that have the density and diversity to support that kind of excitement and access many of us crave. And, Chicago has alleys and doesn’t smell like shit everywhere.

    • Eric,

      I’ve always heard the Chicago women have that friendly mid-western vibe, eager to please. You think the dating scene is good there, in terms of male/female ratio? Isn’t the singles scene mostly bar-focused and centered around major-league sports? Let me know. And thanks for the comments… keep ’em coming!


  • Amerigo


    I saw that Episode 9 (and all the other older podcasts) isn’t anymore available on Soundcloud. Will you put these old episodes back on or we will have to stream them only via iTunes?


    • Paul Janka

      The old episodes have been reinstated. We may move to a new hosting platform at some point, but for now they’re all available on Soundcloud. Thanks for listening!

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